10 things no one tells you about having kids
The Things No One Tells You...
As I'm sitting here this morning contemplating life, drinking my coffee, hearing my children arguing in the background, I'm reminded of all the things I have discovered that no one told me I would experience when I had kids.
Children are awesome, amazing, funny, and precious. They are also messy, gross, stinky, and irritating. This is just a fact and if you are a parent, you will agree. If you are thinking of having children, take a moment to read through these things and prepare yourself for both the hilarious and the horrifying things that no one will tell you.
But I'll tell you. Right here, right now. Let's begin...
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- Newborn babies explode- Yep they do. You can be sitting there enjoying your beautiful bundle of joy and all of a sudden they make a face... a scrunchy, concentrating face. You may think, "Oh no, what's wrong baby? Are you ok?" And then, they explode. You hear a horrifying sound, a deep rumbling around their bum. The deepest sound your baby can make comes from there. If they are sitting on your lap you will feel that vibration. Then the juiciest of sounds follow. Now, you better hope you put that diaper on correctly or you could pay for your mistake. You can even have put the diaper on correctly and you will still pay for your mistake. I cannot tell you how many times my babies exploded and the repercussions of it showed all over their backs and all over my leg. It will happen and you have been notified. So prepare yourself. Pack extra clothes for baby and yourself when you leave the house. Scream for help when you are stuck on your couch with poo all over your leg and you're holding the baby in the air, frozen in time.
- Potty training- There are a ton of potty training tips and advice out there for new parents. Things like "let them run around naked" "put them on the potty every hour and don't let them move till they've gone" "let them wear a diaper till they are 10" I will tell you right now, your child will be potty trained when they are good and ready. I tried letting them run naked and making them stay on the potty till they go. They weren't having it. The best way to go about things is get them interested in the potty. Show them it's the same as mommy or daddy. Have a sticker chart every time they go if you want. Most of all, have patience. They will eventually get it and no, they won't be 10. Which brings me to the next point...
- You have to teach your child HOW to use the bathroom- I don't know why I didn't realize this but now that I've had a boy and a girl it's interesting to know that you have to teach them the proper way to use the bathroom. With a boy, it's standing up and aiming correctly so you don't have pee splashed all over the place.(Throwing a couple of cheerios in the toilet and telling him to hit them helps). With a girl, it's teaching to wipe correctly and how to fold the toilet paper and not roll it in a ball. With both it's teaching how to wipe when they go number 2 and knowing that their short, stubby little arms can't reach back their till a certain age and you have to do it in the meantime. You have to tell them how much toilet paper to use. You have to reassure them that just because the fold of the toilet paper isn't perfect that they don't need to throw it away and get more. Ah, the joys of parenting.
- They repeat themselves. A Lot- It's so amazing to see your baby grow into a toddler and begin to say their first words. You dream of the time you can have conversations with your child and find out all the amazing things that are running through their brain. Then it happens. They talk. And talk and talk and talk some more. They ask you a question, you answer, they ask the same question 20 more times hoping your willpower will dwindle and you will change your answer. They will run play by plays of what just happened on the show you are watching with them. They will pause and rewind their shows so you can come and watch something that you've seen before and that they themselves have watched 100 times. It takes all my might to grin and watch, because I love my children and I do want them to share things with me. But by-golly it's hard sometimes.
- You repeat yourself. A Lot- Raising your child to listen to what you say and then follow through and do it is harder than you think. My daughter has a very short attention span and can be looking right at me as I talk. Does she know what I just said? Nope. I ask her to repeat things back to me and it takes her a couple of tries before she is successful. I tell her to do something and after a few min call her and ask what she is doing. "I am so sorry momma, I got distracted," comes the response. I can't be mad of course but repeating yourself is just a part of parenting. But then....
- Kids are always listening to you- Are you and your husband having a discussion in your room while the children are playing in the other? They hear you. Are you whispering between one another? They'll hear you. You can be outside and I guarantee they'll hear you. I had no idea how well children can hear, when they want to that is.
- Losing and brushing teeth- Thinking back when I was younger I don't really remember losing any of my teeth. Maybe one memory pops up but nothing substantial. No one tells you the worry and online searches you do when your child starts losing their teeth. One day your child says "my tooth is wiggly" and the next, you're on a roller coaster of a ride. Why won't his tooth fall out? It's been there for months! He has teeth growing behind his baby teeth. Shark teeth?! What's that?! Is that a cavity? Should it be painful? Why isn't he losing more teeth?! Nobody told me these things! I'm here to tell you, you gotta go with the flow. Take things a day at a time and don't freak out. They won't die 😉 Teaching your child how to brush their teeth is a whole other ball game. I have found cool little doo dads on Amazon that I will link here: https://amzn.to/3opxkSY and here: https://amzn.to/3Le4DT2 You don't have to get this exact one and they have fancier ones as well but my kids are able to brush their teeth themselves AND do a good job. Now you don't have to go scouring the internet worrying about teeth brushing.
- It's ok for your kids to get bored- It's going to happen. Your child will come up to you and say those words. The words that every parent dreads "I'm Bored". It's ok. No need to rush around trying to come up with something to entertain your kid. Just letting them know it's ok to be bored sometimes is normal. Letting them know that they don't always need to be entertained. I have found saying this line gets them to go use their imagination- Repeat after me- "You can always do your chores". Problem solved.
- There will be times that you feel you are failing as a parent- This is normal. There isn't one parent out there who feels they've never made a mistake with parenting and raising their kids. We haven't done this before! We are learning right along with our children. It's ok to feel overwhelmed. It's ok to grab a glass of wine and snacks and go hide in the bathroom closet behind 2 locked doors. When you feel you need a breather get one. Go for a quick walk, go cry in your closet, put your kids favorite show on so they can be mindless zombies and you can have a moment to yourself. It's ok. And last but not least...
- Enjoy every moment/stage of your child's life- Every time I talk with other parents we all always agree that we miss the earlier times. We miss the newborn phase when they sleep on your chest and wobble around, barely able to move. We miss that fresh baby scent. We miss it when they get their slobber all over us and try to eat our faces. We miss their chunkiness and them not being able to walk and talk. We miss their baby talk that only we understood (and probably can't understand now). Just remember when you are experiencing any of those moments or are in any stage of their life. Smell it up. Soak it up. You won't ever get these moments back, so remember every detail about the moment you are in right now so later you can truly feel like you appreciated every second.
There are much more things that I'm sure I can list but my brain stopped working and the children are calling. Until next time!~Bee🐝
Have more ideas about what you were never told? Comment below and let me know!
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